Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Life in the way.

There was once a time I laid in bed in tears wondering what it was like to be a Mom. Well a Mom to a little boy here on Earth. I would scour the Internet looking for someone just like me, someone I could relate to. Someone that too felt so lonely and isolated in this world swallowed in unimaginable grief.

I found comfort in blogging and in turn met many many women who too gone through such grief. I had a lot of time on my hands. A LOT.

I blogged and blogged and blogged again. Words just flew out on to the keyboard.

And then I look at my last blog post and it was like... a million years ago. Seriously- over 9 months ago.

What happened?

Life I guess. Life got in the way. But a good way. And I am loving every single last second of it. It's not as easy to write anymore. I am unsure if it's because I am in a much better place and I find it harder to write with ease or is it the 37lb toddler I am trying to keep up with? Granted sometimes when I need to write most over the past year, it's had to do with work and the emotions working in the NICU has brought me and well, I can't say much due to HIPPA. So I am stuck.

Either way- I miss it. I love going back the past few years and watching our family grow and documenting the little things I don't ever want to forget. I want to savor every second just as I did in Nolan's short little life. I am so thankful I did, because almost 4 years later...the little moments are fading but the words I wrote in those very days quickly and vividly remind me of what happened. 


Lori Vann said...

You have no idea how happy I was to see a new blog post by you, and seeing C's happy smile! I am blessed that you allow me to be your facebook friend and follow along your life there. I have giggled at C's adventures, and prayed for you as you honor your brother & Nolan. Your blogging family loves you, and we are always here for you! Love you girlie - Lori Vann

LauraJane said...

I'm so glad to see you post and that you're doing well. CC is growing up so quickly- he's such a little boy. :)

Brie said...

Good to see a post fom you! CC is so handsome!

Mrs.HVK said...

I was just thinking about your blog the other day! Was wondering how you all were doing! CC is growing up so fast! Wishing you all the best!

TanaLee Davis said...

I have to say that I too am glad to see you post. I was just here at your blog to re-visit your photo shoot that was done at the hospital when CC was born. I wanted a friend to see it for inspiration for my "rainbow" son's newborn shoot coming up. :) Thanks for teh update...hope to see you again real soon.

Jen said...

Oh I'm so glad you're back! This is one of my very favorite blogs! So good to "see" you again!